Man Laws Pt. 6

1. It is your obligation to take the sacred oath to abide by all Man Laws.

Do women have to abide by Man Law? Or are they exempt like foreign diplomats?

This has nothing to do with women. Women are lawless. Like outlaws in the old west, you have no code.

Outlaws have a code. Didn’t you see Posse?

I saw No Country For Old Men. Great movie.

2. Bro’s before hoes

Hmm… I don’t know. You might want to follow this one at your own discretion. I saw that “Homies Over Hoes” episode of the Boondocks and we all know Gangstalicious is “so unbelievably gay”.

See those homies have their own set of rules. These rules only apply to heteros.

3. Never take sides against your “Team”

Not even if there are panties involved? What if you just pretend to agree for the panties? Are there no loopholes or coochie clauses?

No exceptions. You don’t sell out your boys for ass. Thats what females do.


4. All men are a Wingman 24 hours a day. You are always on call.

So what if you’re up to your curlies in pussy and your boy needs you? Do you hafta?

If you are up to your balls in pussy you will feel obligated to share with your homes… that Snoop song “Aint no Funnnnnnnnnnnnn..if the homies cant haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave none”

“Well, if Kurupt gave a fuck about a bitch, I’d always be broke…” Oh, wait… This is supposed to be the part where I tell you that song is misogynistic. “… I’d never have no muthafuckin’ indo to smoke…”

5. No actions done when acting as a wingman can be ridiculed or repeated in a joking or judging manner, regardless of how horrid that action may have been. Taking one for The Team is an “Action of Honor”.

What if recounting your horrid action will get the Team more panties? I think that should count as a second Action of Honor and there should be added benefits.

see your just bein a bastard

How am I being a bastard? What would Tucker say?

6. Women cannot create, challenge, modify or abolish any Man Laws.

You cannot change that in which you do not believe. That’s not profound wisdom or anything. I said that.

Its not a matter of belief. I can say I don’t believe the sun is out does that mean it isn’t daytime?

No, it means you’re blind.

7. It’s disrespectful to refuse another man’s offer to buy you a drink.

What if he’s REALLY trying to buy you a drink? Is it ok to refuse a fruity drink?

Men don’t buy fruity drinks

I’ve seen a dude take out a daiquiri. Peach at that.

He takes it up the ass too.

8. Every man is held responsible for keeping all women in his stable in check, making sure they know their role, and disciplining them when they get out of line

“You know the game. Your bitch chose me.”

What are you talking about? Put the bong down

There is no bong*. That’s from The Mack.

9. All debts under $50 can bet paid via alcohol.

That’s what? Maybe 3 drinks plus tips. They better be top shelf.

Men only buy top shelf drinks. Eye level and above, if I have to bend down to get it off the shelf I’ll be in that same position at the end of the night praying to the pocelian gods for mercy and forgiveness of the sin of consumption of cheap shit.

10. Men don’t argue with other men unless it’s over sports.

Bitchassedness (Has that term been coined yet? I feel like I owe Puffy some money.) need not apply.

Speaking of sports check this out. If you don’t like that I don’t want to know you.

* Sadly, I will only be celebrating 420 in spirit.**

** I’m celebrating 420 now.


~ by Deviant on April 17, 2008.

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