Man Laws Part 17

11. Men don’t wear tops and bottoms, we wear shirts and pants

You shouldn’t be wearing anything.

you know what you can do about that

I can show you better that I can tell you.

12. Men don’t wear outfits, we wear clothes

See my comment for #11.

13. Men should not talk on the phone longer than 5 minutes

Does phone boning count?

no one is supposed to know you’re phoneboning. Its one of those laws like speeding..you know you are fucking up you just hope you don’t get caught

What about finger fucking?* You’re not actually “on” the phone…

thats ok nothing wrong with that

14. A man cannot be given a nickname by a female or by himself. A man can only be given a nickname by his boys or his fans.

Uh huh… I doubt that you’ll care what I call you if I say it right.

see the next law

15. A nickname assigned by a female is only between him and that female

Laws 14 and 15 seem contradictory. What if it’s a really cool nickname like Thunder Dick or Fucks Like Warrior?

you can’t call him that around his boys they don’t wanna hear that shit, but yeah call me that whenever you like

As you wish your Highness…

16. When standing at a urinal you must look forward with your head tilted up at a 40 degree angle. No looking to the sides is permitted.

What if something shiny catches your eye?

there is nothing shiny down there

Prince Albert would beg to differ.

Wouldn’t know I only look at my own dick in the bathroom and I don’t wear trinkets on it

17. No man ever uses the word “cute” unless he is insulting another man for using the word “cute”.

If I had a citation book for this one, I’d be handing them out like candy.

the law is the law

Don’t say cute. It’s the law!

18. If someone accidentally drinks from your beer, it is now their beer and they must get you a new one.

You should be honored that my lips are touching something of yours.

this is only referring to other men

My lips don’t touch other men.

Yeah neither do mine. Thats why we have this law

19. It is perfectly normal for two men to watch a sporting event and never say a word to each other.

This was such a huge opening for a gay joke that I will resist the temptation. Wait… Am I allowed to make gay jokes in a post about Man Law. Will I be punished?**

yeah that is against Man Law

What are you gonna do? Spank me?**

damn right

20. A man shall not dance for fun unless to improve his chances of getting a girl.

All of the laws should have similar stipulations. You should be able to break the law in the quest for pussy.

obviously you are missing the point of these laws. this one specifically says only dance for ass

Is that like dancing for cash? Does it make you a manwhore?

yes it does

* I believe you people call it texting.
** I wouldn’t mind a little spanking.

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~ by Deviant on April 19, 2008.

4 Responses to “Man Laws Part 17”

  1. Ok, Law 18 had me dying laughing.

    I would like to comment on #12. I was just having this convo with someone last week I called his outfit (shirt and pants) as an ensemble. He was not happy with that but it was so well put together, it became an ensemble. lol Not gay or anything, just well put together.

  2. You called what he had on an ensemble? You may as well have walked up to him and called him fruitbooty.

  3. And now I know the error of my ways. Thank you for showing me the light…

  4. Thats what we are here for

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