What About Your Friends?…

Today we want to tackle a sensitive and controversial subject…

Liberation from the Friend Zone.

Today @ VSB, the Brotha Panama theorized on why women misrepresent themselves in relationships. In other words, why she starts out as one person and then eventually shows her true colors. One reader The Queen had this to say:

We should fuck our friends.


So at the behest of some geek, we’re about to break down why you should fuck your friends…
(Actual Convo)

Some Geek: You should blog about that…

Deviant: About fucking your friends?

Some Geek: Yeah

Deviant: What should it entail?

Some Geek: As much as you feel will help that poor guy that’s chasing [his female friend unbeknownst to her]… Help all these poor men in the friend zone for no reason. #

Reasons You Should Fuck Your Friend:

You’re friends.

This in and of itself is paramount in understanding how this works. This isn’t some random acquaintance, or complete stranger. This is someone you’ve known and maintained a relationship with, probably for years. You genuinely like each other. You share interests. They don’t get on your nerves…much.

You trust them.*

They always tell you the truth. Especially when you don’t want to hear it but always when you need to… Friends won’t lie to you. Again, I’m talking friends and not random acquaintances.

You can be yourself with them.

You are at your best with them and they’ve already seen you at your worst. And yet, for some inexplicable reason, they’re still your friend. They’ve seen most if not all of your crazy up close and personal and they still like you. It may be that they’re a little crazy too and that’s okay. They know what you look like before you brush your teeth and they still think you’re attractive. Go figure.

We don’t know about you but that is ideally what we want in a buddy / companion / boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other (which we never liked because it implies that everyone else is insignificant) / boo** / whatever you call the person with whom you share your time and affection?***

The sex will probably be outstanding.

If you have a friend that has been trying to get at you for a while… Given the opportunity, they are not going to disappoint you. They want you to enjoy yourself because they want to fuck you again…repeatedly.

“How Do I Go About Fucking My Friend?”

Tell them what you want.

This is important. You cannot make jokes. Or throw them obscure hints that they will attribute to your usual antics and dismiss as “Oh, [Your Name Here] you’re so crazy”. That shit doesn’t work. Especially not with women, because if you’re already in the Friend Zone, she really isn’t “looking at you like that” in the first place.****

Tell them again.

They might not get it the first time. Patience is a virtue. Or so we’ve been told. If you are serious about your endeavors, you have to be persistent. – Note: Persistent does not mean stalker.

Real Talk.

When you do tell them, be real. This may require some vulnerability on your part but a friend will take that into consideration and act accordingly. If you are met with apprehension and faulty reasoning, don’t be afraid to challenge it. Just make sure that your reasons are sound and mutually beneficial.

I’m an advocate of boning the shit out of your friends. Why not? Me personally if I were on that position would make it known that “Hey.. I have a dick…just in case you wanted to know. You should hold it.” Just use the nice voice as not to sound …yanno scary. You can’t lose. If she is your friend and you are like me you have been offering her dick for awhile she will either think its funny or just keep note of that. The one day when you are exhausted from all the studying at the library you can call her and say this:

Billy: Hey How are you

Sue: Hello Bill how are you?

Billy: I was Just leaving the library doing some studying.

Sue: Thats nice. You are so studious.

Billy: Yes I am…Would you like some dick?

..and you’re in there. It won’t hurt if you have some Rum or Vodka with you (personally I prefer dark liquors ..like Hennessey…)

No seriously…bone your friends..you’ll enjoy it.

Don’t be a prude

…blow me a shotgun…




# I just would like to say I do not advocate the actual full on chasing of a girl that ain’t giving you any play, Thats just crazy. What you should do is proceed about your business but when you cross paths with said wet dream inform her of your interest in beast fucking her (or whatever you’re into..i dunno it’s your world.)

* Or at least you trust them to be trustworthy.
** People over 25 should not have “boo”s.
*** We personally don’t do labels. We just hope that our actions speak loud enough so they know how we feel about them.
**** She may have valid reasons for this.


~ by Deviant on April 22, 2008.

One Response to “What About Your Friends?…”

  1. […] is offered and accepted. It is this stance in taken on dating which makes me a strong advocate of this.  Anyway thats basically what I’m on. Fuck a walk in the park and Olive […]

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