Fuck A Date: Why Dating Is Overrated…

“You should date more. You know, see what’s out there. Just do it for the experience.”

Sound familiar?

Are you tired of friends and family members

(with unsuccessful dealings in matters of the reproductive organs)

sharing their dating advice?

Do you find yourself asking “What’s the big deal about dating anyway”?

Well, we’re here to let you know that you are not alone. We, too, feel that dating is overrated.

Here’s why:

Think of dating as a shopping experience. That’s pretty much what you’re doing anyway. Except, instead of shopping for the perfect wardrobe, we’re shopping for the “perfect” person.

(I would like to point out right now before you read any further that the “perfect” person does not exist. I repeat. Perfection is a myth and should not be considered as an attainable attribute. Continue reading…)

Now let’s expound on the perfection. The perfect wardrobe is one that ideally makes you look and feel your best. It’s comfortable, timeless, complements your body type and worth the money. The perfect person is pretty much the same. They make you feel good, you’re comfortable around them, they complement you and their worth the effort* you put into it. And just like the perfect wardrobe, their are certain components that you already know you just have to have.

Do you really want to waste time** trying on every piece of clothing? Trying on shit you know you don’t have any business wearing? Just because you can’t find what you want in your size when you already know what it is you’re looking for and you just don’t see it?

No, of course not.

So why do people insist that you date? Essentially wasting time*, on what is basically a trial-and-error method of metaphorically finding the perfect wardrobe, by trying on any-and-everything you think might fit. Those are hours of your life that you can’t get back. Do you really want to take that chance?***

Think about it.

  • The date will usually take place at one of various chain restaurants****, the quality of which will be used to determine the education/maturity level/economic status of the person who suggested said restaurant.
  • You will be judged on your appearance. – This is ridiculous mostly because when you go on a date, you are essentially getting the display model. And we all know that just because something looks good on the hanger doesn’t mean it will look good on you or that it will even look as good after you wear it out a few times (pun intended).
  • You will make light chit-chat. – “So tell me about yourself” being the most common icebreaker. This will usually begin with a quick synopsis of where you’re from and how you ended in [Your City Here] and usually lead to a very generic conversation about jobs and social interests that will continue on for the next few hours on and off during the meal. And if you happen to find yourself bored to tears at their quippy anecdotes or silently questioning their IQ level in the first 15 minutes, it’s “too bad, so sad” for you because YOU CAN’T LEAVE. It would be considered bad form and would certainly reflect poorly on you or the person who orchestrated said date in the first place.

  • After which, you are supposed to determine whether or not you would like to spend more of your time with this person. I’ll say it again, 2-4 hours of “getting to know someone” is supposed to be enough to determine whether or not they’re worth spending another 2-4 hours with…

Does that make sense?

No. It does not. Why waste time trying out a bunch of shit you didn’t really want for the “experience” when you could be at home in your favorite jeans watching TV in the “sweet spot” or something else that you genuinely enjoy?*****

So we say fuck a date. Go out and meet some people. If you enjoy their company, great. Talk on the phone. Invite them over to watch a movie or have sex, depending on your level of comfort, of course. But if you are just itching to spend some money or just really want to impress them… fill their tank up. It will get you farther than any trip to the Cheesecake Factory.

 

I don’t like dates. I haven’t been on alot of bad ones cause I am the type that makes the best of any given situation, even a shitty one where I would rather stab myself in the hand with a fork than endure. I have  found that the type of girl that wants to go on a date is a girl I don’t want to be with.  Eventually I will grow to dislike her. Of course that took some years of trial and error to figure that out but now I am at the age where I can stop giving a fuck about such silly things and activities people beneath me(#) engage in. Now I just look to do what I call “hang out”. You know what that is. Go to some girls house you cool with and watch basketball or watch a movie you got through the Netflix or from the hookup man. Someone you call when you have some beer or liquor to drink or a sack you don’t want to smoke by yourself. Who knows maybe at some point dick is offered and accepted. It is this stance in taken on dating which makes me a strong advocate of this.  Anyway thats basically what I’m on. Fuck a walk in the park and Olive Garden.(##)

 

 

 

* And money.

** Countless hours of your life. You can’t get those back.

*** This is why we fuck our friends.

**** Depending on the restaurant, dinner will usually be accompanied by a second activity; usually a movie but bowling, roller skating and salsa dancing are also popular.

***** The “sweet spot” = that spot on the couch/sofa/chaise that basically has your ass imprinted in it.

 

# You must know that I am greater than all of you. Yes…even you. Bow before my greatness.

## I know alot of girls that love this place. I made better Italian in my dorm room.

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~ by Deviant on April 23, 2008.

7 Responses to “Fuck A Date: Why Dating Is Overrated…”

  1. I subscribe to a viewpoint that a man does not “date” a woman. Instead, he invites her to join him in his normal activities (of course, the more interesting ones).

    So, if I’m going to play pool with some friends, invite the new chick. If I’m going to go catch a cool new movie, invite the new chick. If I’m going to spend 3 hours wandering around aimlessly in a new part of the city, invite the new chick. If I’m going to go shopping for new sunglasses. . . invite the new chick.

    Going out to restaurants is cool, however, you will always feel artificial and conversation will be strained if it is not something that you do on a regular basis. If you want to get to know someone and evaluate them for how well they’d fit into your life, interests, goals, and vice-versa, what better way than to involve them in exactly that?

    Worst case, you’d always be having fun even if things didn’t go well.

  2. I love this and I will share this with all my single friends… A better analogy has never been made. I raise my glass of red (as I sit in the sweet spot) to you.

  3. I was feeling you man. The top part (and the link to the Olsens) is both true and hilarious. I have deemed myself “Queen of the First Date” since I’ve been on at least 6 in the past few months where I wind up bored as shit while Im there, and wondering why Im even out with dude since I’m not interested in the first place.

    Dating sucks! I dont know anyone who *genuinely* enjoys it, but even less appealing is the idea of men replacing dates with movies at their house/drinks at the bar/or over to smoke. That screams immature and CHEAP AS HELL! Im not saying you have to spend a buch of $, but at least be creative.

    My favorite date ever was with my last bf, we went to Barnes and Nobles and walked around looking at books and mags, and then went for ice cream.

    All Im saying is, put some effort into it. Inviting a woman to chill at your “sweet spot” with intentions of getting ass afterwards is so corny. Only lame chicks fall for that shit.

  4. see Dom you were close but you missed it by a little. Its not about replacing dates. I’m not out to impress anyone. Thats what a date is right? I’m saying fuck that….Imma just do me. My people know I’m not cheap and they know well of my high level of creativity. I’m saying I’d rather spend the time wasted on trying to impress a stranger and instead call some cool chick (or dude if you swing that way) and hang with them. Do whatever it is you do. There are a number of things I like to do in the city that are just more fun with someone there. Its about the person after all right? If you like that person it doesn’t matter what you do. Everyone involved will be better for it.

  5. […] Apparently a friend of hers is in town so they were likely going to go out tonight (and perhaps why she didn’t bother to call me – because we tend to think that a “date” must be alone time between the two people). Well, I aim to change the way I treat “dates”. I think I talked a little about that here (click link). […]

  6. Honestly, I hate dating. I never did it until the beginning of this year, and it exhausted me, I somehow went broke, and suddenly my closet wasn’t right for me anymore. It takes up a lot of time and a lot of money, both of which I don’t have.

    However, I must say. They were great learning experiences. They taught me to up the bar on my standards, they boosted my confidence (and the more I have it, the better a person I am.. or appear to be). I learned proper etiquettes through trial and error. It’s frustrating, but that’s what learning experiences are supposed to be. You fuck up with people youre never gonna see again, or you learn the things that you cannot accept for the sake of your happiness, so that you can finally apply that to the one you want to keep.

  7. […] still fucking tired. I have to say, I have put myself out there to meet "people"– and I don't mean date I just mean to get out and socialize –and it's sucked ( sometimes) . People are vampires. They […]

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