Man Laws Part 23

21. If your white t-shirt approaches your knees, then it is considered a dress

 

And it should be belted to make your waist appear more proportionate…

22. It is completely acceptable for a man to use a dog as a wingman.

 

Also I would like to add, for those that don’t give 2 shits about a dog, babies or lil kids will do as well. My lil cousins are pimps. I got one that is 2 years old and when he sees a girl he wants to be picked up so he can snuggle up against strange tiddies. That man (yes he is a 2 year old man..he has earned his stripes) is a genius although I fear he may have a family before he is ten.

23. Rock, paper, scissors is a completely legitimate way to settle an argument that cannot be solved logically.

 

24. A drink consists of 2 things: Alcohol and another liquid

Does this include daiquiris? Can that other liquid be fruity?

MEN don’t drink fruity drinks

25. Under no circumstance is it ok for a MAN to say vagina

 

So if I offered you some vagina, you wouldn’t take it?

I would take it yes and I would enjoy that PUSSY

What if my offer was contingent on you say “vagina”?

dammit

26. A man should always be aware of all the women his friends are dating; and react recklessly or run interference to keep those women separated at an event

 

What if she’s already spotted him with “the bitch”? Should you try to smooth things out or run for cover?

Smooth things out. Say thats his cousin.

If she’s says, “the bitch”, she already knows there’s no relation.

We will just make her feel crazy and paranoid  until he can get out of the area.

27. During a major sporting event or boxing match, it is unacceptable for a man to ask, “Who’s playing or who’s fighting”.

 

What if it’s two Latinos with the same last name?

You don’t ask you just watch. That’s why at every sporting event on TV they show you the names when they go to commercial to avoid such silliness and during boxing matches they show the names every few minutes. To ask such questions reflects a certain ignorance of these things that a man should not have.

28. In any type of auditorium or seating arrangement, if there are several seats open, under no circumstances do you sit in the seat right next to your homeboy!!

 

What if you just wanna be close so you can whisper about how fine Halle Berry is?

There is never a reason to sit next to a man or whisper in his ear.

29. If a man closely passes by another man, then that man shall turn his back and pretend not to see the other man…if a man closely passes by a female then that man shall face her and stare accordingly

 

What if you’re not sure? There are a lot of people passing for other sexes nowadays.

If you aren’t sure don’t look

30. Beer is an acceptable form of hydration after playing sports

 

Even badminton?

thats not a sport

Additional Wisdom

-No one should interupt women when they are talking about porn. If the current conversation has nothing to do with porn and women bring it up the previous convo no longer matters, If you don’t like that you should go pick up that penny I saw on the fast lane on 495. Your life is forfeit and no one loves you.

-If you are not watching the NBA playoffs right now you should just stab yourself with a spoon. You suck and your mother doesn’t love you. Your friends mock your existence and children cry at the mention of your name.

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~ by Deviant on April 23, 2008.

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