Pickin’ Boogers

There an old saying about how you can pick your nose but not your family…

Or pick your friends and not your family?

I’m not sure which but the point is you can’t pick your family. Like money, or lack thereof, you’re born* into it. And as dysfunctional as they may be you’re stuck with them. But life gives you a do-over by letting you pick people you actually like to become your very own set personalized loved ones – friends.

And if we are so inclined, we can go one step further and pick our very own family member!

That’s right… You to can have years if not decades of fun with your very own spouse/life partner/BFFILF**, etc.

Sounds exciting, right?!

But then why do you constantly hear comments like:

“[Blank] gets on my nerves.”

“S/he is such a bitch.”

“I can’t stand his ass.”

“S/he makes me sick.”

“I don’t know why I put up with her/his shit.”

… in reference to a BFFILF?

I mean why waste the opportunity to hand pick a family member on someone you don’t even like? Life is saying “Go ahead, pick one.” and your response is “I don’t really like that one, but I’ll take it.”




You wouldn’t eat a food you didn’t like if you weren’t starving. You wouldn’t wear a shirt that was itchy if it wasn’t all you has left and even then you’d probably go raid a laundromat.*** You wouldn’t by a car that got bad gas milage and had a big dent in the driver’s side door if you weren’t desperate for transportation.****

Would you?

So why do we stay in relationships trying to make family members out of people we wouldn’t even be friends with when we don’t have to? (Besides their bedside manner. – which is bullshit by the way)

* Or adopted… But that’s like a half and half cause your parents chose you.

** Best Friend Forever I’d Like to Fuck

*** Not that I’ve done this but I do know of it happening.

**** Guilty. Anyone want to buy a car?


~ by Deviant on May 7, 2008.

One Response to “Pickin’ Boogers”

  1. I have done it…can’t lie…a good PIECE (regardless of what sorry excuse for a skin covered, unmotivated, mouthbreather it’s attached to) is hard to find…(hanging head in shame) but it was SOOOOO GOOD! (naughty smile)

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