Man Laws Pt 54

51. No man shall watch, support, or like Will & Grace, Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, Soap Operas, Lifetime movies, HGTV programs, Oxygen Programs, romantic novels, ice skating, men’s gymnastics or Oprah

I bet there are guys who’ve seen all of those.

you aren’t supposed to admit being a regular viewer or you had to see the show under duress (i.e. some female had you watching it or you lost your remote)

so only watch it in secret?

you’re not supposed to want to watch it

52. L.O.Y.D – Lying On Your Dick at anytime is absolutely unacceptable will result in a deduction of 3 women off of your depth chart and an automatic removal from being allowed to vote on any Man Laws until you have redeemed yourself via an “Action of Honor”

I know dudes in the negative.

53. Begging to eat a female out will result in automatic removal from being allowed to vote on any Man Laws until you have redeemed yourself via an “Action of Honor”

How can something that feeds my already obese ego be a bad thing?

Have you ever begged to suck a dick?

I will if you want me to…

54. A man should never back down from a challenge from another man. It’s your obligation to uphold the honor of your crew, team, inner circle, etc

What if he challenges you to a one gun duel?

You ever seen a western?

Yes, but there are usually two guns.

thats what makes it a duel. Just one gun just makes it murder

I was just trying to think of a challenge that it would be acceptable to back out of… Like being dared to wear women’s underwear for a week…

thats not a challenge of manhood. why would a man dare another man to do that?

I couldn’t tell you. The law doesn’t state it has to be a challenge of manhood. Just a challenge.

Its always about manhood

55. Men should not bitch, whine, complain, or nag like a female

Women should not bitch, whine, complain or nag like a female.

This is Man Law…It has already been stated that women have no code.

Touché. I was just throwing it out there.

56. Any time spent with a female you are talking too, whether it’s just sitting at the house chilling or out spending money on her is considered CAKING! Although there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Caking and its encouraged as long as the chick deserves it, it’s still all good to make fun of your homies for CAKING. PLEASE SEE MAN LAW 57 & 58 FOR ACCEPTED AND UNACCEPTED CAKING LIST

* Caking of the 1st degree: spending time

* Caking of the 2nd degree: spending money

* Caking of the 3rd degree: spending lots of time and lots of money

Baked goods* are only to be given as gifts those who deserve them. BTW: You can always get the cookies.

57. ACCEPTED CAKING LIST

* She’s your wife or your main girl

* She’s only seeing you

* She’s has or is willing to spend money on you or do special things for you

* She’s only fuckin you

58. UNACCEPTED CAKING LIST

* She’s another man’s wife or main girl

* She get’s caked by other men and she’s not fuckin you

* She’s no higher than #3 in your stable She’s fuckin somebody else

* She’s disrespectful

* She acts like you’re obligated to spend money on her

* She’s unappreciative

* She’s fucked one of your boys before

* She’s a ho

So when you pay a ho, that’s not caking?

no that’s a buisness transaction…like getting gas or buying a spicy chicken sandwich

Damn.

59. Never should a man try holla at one of his boy’s ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or ex #1 who he was serious about. Only other females on the squad that never reached higher than the #2 spot in the stable are fair game

So you can holla at the chick he was cheating on his girl with for the last 5 years?

only if she isn’t regarded as his main

What if she was his main girl that he was cheating with? These do exist… don’t they?

thats what I was getting at

Gotcha.

60. If a female never reached the #1 spot in your stable then she’s fair game. It is unmanly to act emotional, irrational, overly sensitive, or jealous if she starts messin with another man

In other words, don’t piss on something you don’t own…

what? you aint makin sense

If she’s not #1, she’s not really yours..

if she isn’t #1 she is up for grabs. She is yours till she isn’t

Your wisdom is infinite.

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~ by Deviant on June 2, 2008.

2 Responses to “Man Laws Pt 54”

  1. All of these check out. Actually was talking with my friends about a good 6 of these within the past week.

    Sadly, the first one connected with me. My dad is a fan of Oxygen for some odd reason and has no shame in his game with it (maybe he is too old to care). I personally was a fan of SITC, but it remained a jealously guarded secret and I refuse to be seen in the theatre watching it.

  2. After a certain age you stop giving any bit of a fuck. In fact I think you earn the right to say “Fuck You” to any social convention you wish after the age of 60. Who are we to tell a man who has been around that long how he should do this thing? You have to respect your elders.

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