Didn’t We Almost Have It All…

Maybe, but “almost” doesn’t count.

Pre-Bobby, Whitney was that one. Now? Not so much.

But that’s not why I’m here today. Today, I’m here to divert my negative energy into a positive medium. I was going to do something really… umm… well, dammit… devious… for lack of a less obvious word. I was going to give into my paranoia and blatant distrust of all things human desires and commit the perfect crime. But my conscience* got the better of me.

I have come to the conclusion that the reason “I trust you. I just don’t trust her.” has been uttered so frequently by women who suspect some broad may have designs on their man is because men don’t want to hurt the feelings of some broad they once had feelings for.

Confused yet? Allow me** to explain.

A man cannot, and will not, tell some chick he was banging to explicitly “fuck off/kick rocks” unless his is driven to a point of desperation. Desperation being his current chick is threatening to cut someone and he’s afraid that someone might be him. 

Women have the advantage here. If some dude is constantly being a bug-a-boo***, a woman will start answering her phone “Fuck off” instead of “Hello?” – apologizing to mom after the fact. If the situation takes on a stalker-esque quality, they’ll call the law (or their most unstable male relative within city limits) on that ass but that’s only if her size and/or societal status won’t allow her to go after said stalker herself.

Men won’t do that. It’s not that they can’t. It’s that it puts their manhood in question. That and aggressing a broad is like asking to go to “pound me in the ass” prison.

 Women ultimately know this. Which is why a man can tell a broad to stop calling but she won’t listen. She’ll send texts or e-mails, or calling his relatives, friends and neighbors. Or get her relatives, friends and neighbors to call him. She might even get real desperate and write a letter. She’ll try to reminisce about all the fucking they did good times they had and try to convince him of how much he misses it and how much better it would be if they got back together.

Which why all most all women are distrustful of all of their man’s ex fuck buddies, girlfriends, wives, one nighters, broads who thought he was fine in college, etc.. Any woman who says differently is either a fool or a liar and should be avoided when seeking a LTR. Sure they may ease up a little bit if the ex is married or in another state. But as long as that broad has breath in her lungs and is not horribly disfigured, you can bet money that she’s giving said broad dirty looks with her third eye.

And to a woman, if her man won’t tell the last broad to “kick rocks” explicitly, he must be keeping her on ice. This may not always be the case. But it is the perception**** most women have. 

Why keep things when there’s no use for them unless you plan on needing it again at some point?  

This is also why a chick will continue to contact a man even after he expresses that he has no further interest in her. To her, unless he hurts her feelings, he’s unknowingly giving her hope.

Why? Because men lack the ability to speak caustically. In other words, they’re too nice.

When women attempt to exorcise someone’s soul with curse people out, there are no open-ended questions, phrases, or clauses. It’s a finite communication. End scene. It’s over.***** When women attack someone verbally, there is usually a combination of dumbfoundedness, humiliation, tears, etc. Men can’t do that. If a broad even looks/sounds like she might start choking up, a man will attempt to console her. Even when he hates her guts. Which takes us right back to the “If he didn’t still have feelings for me he wouldn’t be nice to me” insanity.

Which is why I say let them hoes fight.”  it may be better for a man to let another female handle all communication with his ex in attempts to end the relationship for good. Employ a female relative/friend and let her tell the broad to “Fuck off” on your behalf.

Now some may argue that this is a cop out. But that’s like saying getting lawyer is a cop out if you catch a case. Wouldn’t it be smarter to let someone more knowledgeable with the subject handle the situation at hand? Isn’t that what the service industry is all about?

Now there is always the possibility that a man really is keeping his ex on ice. In which case he should treat all communication with said ex like gov’t secrets and “burn after reading.” He should also avoid chicks with technical degrees, super sleuthing abilities and a close relationship with the IT guy at work. Technology is a motherfucker.

FYI: Get some good insurance.


Today’s post was brought to you by the letter “B” and the number 0. Now “fuck off” and GO VOTE.

I’m a Deviant and I approve this message. 


*Yes, I actually do still have one of those.

** “… to reintroduce myself. My name is Hov…”

*** Yeah. I did it. And?

**** And perception is just an individual’s reality.

***** Unless she’s crazy. Not regular crazy but really padded cell crazy.


~ by Deviant on November 1, 2008.

One Response to “Didn’t We Almost Have It All…”

  1. well put…I completely concur….this is advice i could have used a few months ago. It was then that I found out even telling her “fuck off” doesn’t work either…might as well leave it to the professionals.

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